Support for allies of LGBTQIA+ individuals

Standing up for acceptance and inclusion

Become a voice for those who might not be heard or understood

For LGBTQIA+ individuals, having allies can make all the difference in feeling seen and supported, especially within communities that may struggle with understanding or acceptance. Our call to love one another transcends all boundaries—it's about embracing others with compassion and respect.   

Allies play a vital role in helping shift hearts and minds, supporting LGBTQIA+ individuals in living authentically without fear of discrimination or judgment.  

By standing with LGBTQIA+ Adventists, allies help bridge the gap between faith and identity, showing that being supportive does not mean compromising one's beliefs but rather expanding them to include the inherent dignity of all people.   

Allyship is about challenging harmful narratives and fostering environments where everyone is welcomed with open arms, just as Jesus did.

We can respectfully challenge harmful narratives while fostering environments where everyone is welcome, just as Jesus did.

Why Allyship Matters

Many LGBTQIA+ Adventists experience isolation, rejection, or the pressure to hide their true identities due to fear of judgment or condemnation.   The traditional teachings of some religious communities can contribute to feelings of shame, confusion, and isolation, leaving LGBTQIA+ people to navigate their faith and sexuality in silence.   

This silence can take a significant toll on mental health, increasing the risk of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide compared to their non-LGBTQIA+ peers, and rejection from faith-based communities can further exacerbate these risks.

The lack of affirming spaces within the church not only alienates LGBTQIA+ people but also creates barriers to reconciling their spiritual lives with their identities, which can amplify feelings of despair and hopelessness.  

This is where allies play a critical role—by offering support and advocating for inclusive practices, helping to create spaces where LGBTQIA+ Adventists can feel valued and embraced.   

Allies have the power to change the narrative and positively impact the lives of LGBTQIA+ people, especially youth.

Core Principles of Allyship

Listen and Learn: Be open to hearing LGBTQIA+ Adventist stories and perspectives. 

Respect and Affirm:* Honor individuals’ identities and experiences without judgment. 

Challenge Discrimination: Speak out against harmful language, policies, or actions. 

Educate Yourself: Seek resources to deepen your understanding of LGBTQIA+ issues. 

Show Up: Attend events, join initiatives, and be visibly supportive.

To be "affirming" means to actively support, validate, and recognize a person's identity, experiences, and values.

It goes beyond merely tolerating or accepting someone; it involves actively reinforcing their worth and right to exist as they are. Validating and encouraging the authenticity of others, fostering a sense of belonging and safety.

Practical Ways to Be an Ally

Support your LGBTQIA+ family members and friends as you would any loved one: celebrate their joys, share in their sorrows, listen openly, and love fully.

For LGBTQIA+ Individuals 

Respect their preferred pronouns.
Offer a listening ear and affirm their experiences.
When appropriate, help others remember to use preferred pronouns.
Use inclusive language and avoid assumptions about relationships or pronouns.

Within the
Church 

Advocate for inclusive practices, such as affirming sermons or community events.
Stand against exclusionary policies or behaviors.
Offer resources and support for church members seeking to better understand LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

In Everyday
Life 

Support policies and leaders who advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights.
Patronize businesses that treat employees equitably.
Challenge stereotypes or biases when they arise.
Share and celebrate LGBTQIA+ stories, voices, and achievements

I’d love to learn more about allyship

True Allies Advocate

There are many ways to become an advocate for equality and inclusion, recognize the impact of marginalization, and commit to meaningful advocacy.

From participating in local and national advocacy efforts, whether by attending rallies or signing petitions, to engaging in conversations about policies that impact LGBTQIA+ rights. Voting in support of inclusive legislation, supporting LGBTQIA+ organizations, and sharing reliable information are powerful ways to help drive positive change. 

Small changes—like sharing inclusive resources at work, setting clear expectations for respectful language, or promoting diversity initiatives—go a long way toward building supportive communities. Celebrating LGBTQIA+ milestones and events like Pride Month can help make your space feel affirming.   

For those interested in learning more or seeking legal advice, several organizations provide resources and support, including the Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, and PFLAG, which all offer guidance for LGBTQIA+ individuals and their families.

If you come from a non-affirming religious background, it can feel like embracing LGBTQIA+ people conflicts with your faith. But you don’t have to choose between your faith and your LGBTQIA+ loved ones. Many scholars and advocates have written extensively about reconciling faith and sexuality. Click here for a list of resources. 

Doing the research may feel heavy, but it’s lighter than the alternative. Jesus promised us rest from heavy burdens. However, it’s important to understand that not affirming LGBTQIA+ people can have serious consequences—especially for youth.

Studies show that rejection can increase risks of depression, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. Family and religious rejection significantly heighten these risks, especially for transgender individuals. This isn’t meant to shame anyone, but to emphasize the importance of loving and accepting others as you continue to explore your faith. You don’t have to rush the process, but when you're ready, embracing love can be much easier than it seems.
Here are some things to keep in mind if a loved one comes out to you: 

It’s not about you: Focus on them, affirm their experience with statements like, “Thank you for sharing” or “I’m grateful to know you more fully.” Listen and reflect their feelings. 

Consider your body language: If possible, stop what you’re doing, be present, and use open body language, like uncrossed arms and gentle eye contact. 

Reassure, don’t defend: Avoid turning the conversation into a defense of your trustworthiness. Instead, offer reassurance, like “I’m here to support you.” 

Love needs no modifiers: Simply saying “I love you” is enough. Avoid adding words like “still” or “anyway,” which can unintentionally undermine their experience. 

Even with good intentions, it’s easy to make mistakes. For example, when responding to someone’s coming out, avoid making the conversation about your assumptions, offering unsolicited advice, or focusing on your discomfort. Focus on affirming their identity and showing genuine support. Missteps like mislabeling someone's gender or trying to fix their experience can be harmful. 

Ultimately, allyship is about impact, not intention. Acknowledge mistakes, learn from them, and continue offering support. Your words and actions matter—they can either heal or harm, so choose them wisely.
Assess the church's stance: Check the church’s policies on LGBTQIA+ inclusion. They may range from welcoming but non-affirming to fully affirming and inclusive. 

Push for transparency: Ask church leaders to publicly share their LGBTQ+ policies. This ensures LGBTQ+ people know what to expect and prevents harmful surprises. 

Start conversations: If the church is not affirming, encourage discussions about inclusivity. Suggest resources like book studies or panels to begin the discernment process. 

Pay attention to details: Even in affirming spaces, small signs of heteronormativity might remain. For example, consider gender-neutral bathrooms, gender-expansive options on forms, inclusive language for families, and diverse leadership representation. 

Consider leaving if necessary: If the leadership is unwilling to change, be prepared to leave, especially if the environment is harmful to LGBTQIA+ people or your own LGBTQIA+ family members.

Creating a safe and inclusive church environment for LGBTQIA+ people requires ongoing effort, compassion, and the willingness to challenge harmful norms. By standing up, speaking out, and advocating for change, you help build a community that truly reflects love and acceptance for all.